Since it was so wet outside today, I decided to go out and stand in the rain. Makes perfect sense, right? Rain, mud, and general misery = go outside. I have some awesome mucking boots, so I wore those. Possibly getting wet socks was not a risk I was willing to take.
Once I got outside, I realized that I didn't really have anything to DO out there (other than just standing in the wet), so I went over by the chicken coop. There were some chickens standing outside and getting wet. This was clearly not the most enlightened moment in the history of chicken brilliance.
After a few minutes of wordless staring, I made the revolutionary observation that chickens look dumb. Here is an example of a dumb-looking chicken:
Wet chickens look even dumber. Regular dumb chicken versus wet dumb chicken:
Their eyes don't really help things - they tend to stare blankly.
A whole bunch of chickens, staring blankly, would be really creepy. Like, if there was a huge flock of chickens just standing there and looking at you...
Or just their heads:
Or just their feet:
This was a little weird, so I went back inside and ate a bagel.
After some consideration, I began to feel that perhaps I had been a bit unfair to all of chickenkind, by trapping them in a stereotype of idiocy and mindless creepy staring. So, I made a few pictures of chickens who have chosen to pursue a higher education.
A chicken with some form of job involving crazy mathematical equations a lots of unpleasant work (such as thinking). Possibly a teacher or engineer.
A chicken beautician. All of those free products are hard to resist.
A chicken Elvis impersonator. (imchickenator...??)
A chicken who wanted to be an astronaut but ended up just putting a random glass bowl thing on his head.
Chickie Chan. He can beat 12 martial arts experts to death with a loaf of french bread and throw them off of the top of a skyscraper, do like a zillion stunts involving helicopters and moving vehicles, and jump from a 20-story building onto asphalt, all in one day. He also has a plug in his skull from falling out of a tree. (???)
Arnold Schwarzenchickker..."It's not a toomah! It isk mhy hoooge muscles, stoopid preeschkooler!"
After that brief exploration into chicken society, I felt that I had, perhaps, exhausted every possible aspect of the subject. And I was hungry. Which reminded me that I actually HAD forgotten one thing:
And then I got hungry for chicken, but I didn't have any. So I found a cookie. And I drew a picture of it.
I should probably get better at making round cookies.
After that, I went to find some milk, but there wasn't any, so I pretty much had a panic attack before realizing that someone had just hidden it behind a bunch of leftovers. That was such a huge relief that I DRANK ALL OF THE MILK, and then there really wasn't any.
So I realized that I should probably go to a store or a gas station or something and buy some more...but that would have been way too responsible. So I took a nap instead.
