Monday, January 14, 2013

It Was a Really Rainy Miserable Day, so She Went Outside and Looked at Her Chickens and had Deep Philosophical Thoughts

Since it was so wet outside today, I decided to go out and stand in the rain.  Makes perfect sense, right?  Rain, mud, and general misery = go outside.  I have some awesome mucking boots, so I wore those.  Possibly getting wet socks was not a risk I was willing to take. 

Once I got outside, I realized that I didn't really have anything to DO out there (other than just standing in the wet), so I went over by the chicken coop.  There were some chickens standing outside and getting wet.  This was clearly not the most enlightened moment in the history of chicken brilliance.

After a few minutes of wordless staring, I made the revolutionary observation that chickens look dumb.  Here is an example of a dumb-looking chicken:

Wet chickens look even dumber.  Regular dumb chicken versus wet dumb chicken:

Their eyes don't really help things - they tend to stare blankly. 

A whole bunch of chickens, staring blankly, would be really creepy.  Like, if there was a huge flock of chickens just standing there and looking at you...

Or just their heads:

Or just their feet:

This was a little weird, so I went back inside and ate a bagel.

After some consideration, I began to feel that perhaps I had been a bit unfair to all of chickenkind, by trapping them in a stereotype of idiocy and mindless creepy staring.  So, I made a few pictures of chickens who have chosen to pursue a higher education. 

A chicken with some form of job involving crazy mathematical equations a lots of unpleasant work (such as thinking).  Possibly a teacher or engineer.
A chicken beautician.  All of those free products are hard to resist. 
A chicken Elvis impersonator.  (imchickenator...??)
A chicken who wanted to be an astronaut but ended up just putting a random glass bowl thing on his head.
Chickie Chan.  He can beat 12 martial arts experts to death with a loaf of french bread and throw them off of the top of a skyscraper, do like a zillion stunts involving helicopters and moving vehicles, and jump from a 20-story building onto asphalt, all in one day.  He also has a plug in his skull from falling out of a tree.  (???)
Arnold Schwarzenchickker..."It's not a toomah!  It isk mhy hoooge muscles, stoopid preeschkooler!"
After that brief exploration into chicken society, I felt that I had, perhaps, exhausted every possible aspect of the subject.  And I was hungry.  Which reminded me that I actually HAD forgotten one thing:
And then I got hungry for chicken, but I didn't have any.  So I found a cookie.  And I drew a picture of it.
I should probably get better at making round cookies.

After that, I went to find some milk, but there wasn't any, so I pretty much had a panic attack before realizing that someone had just hidden it behind a bunch of leftovers.  That was such a huge relief that I DRANK ALL OF THE MILK, and then there really wasn't any.

So I realized that I should probably go to a store or a gas station or something and buy some more...but that would have been way too responsible.  So I took a nap instead.